Yesterday, At the Park

togetherness

loveliness

playfulness

openness

groundedness

gracefulness

Something New

I was just writing here about doing something out of the ordinary, moving beyond the box, and life presented me (and a number of others) with a wonderful opportunity. The musician Wah! came to visit a local yoga studio; she taught a yoga class and then led the group in chanting. Even though attending this event took me away from V. for a few night-time hours, L. convinced me that she would be fine and that I could feel free to go.

What a wonderful experience...Wah! teaches from traditions that are new to me, as I'd never taken classes from teachers of Bihar, Kundalini, or Anusara yoga. Wah! utilizes each of these traditions in her classes, so I was able to experience new ways to practice yoga and inhabit my body. She had us inching on our backs and bellies like worms, slithering sideways like snakes, all to wake up our spines. She encouraged active engagement of the back and openness in the heart. She taught us challenging and useful ways to strengthen our wrists and to open into Vashistasana. I loved that she continually asked us what we placed upon our breath, since breath is an amplifier of energy. Whatever we placed there we were both drawing in and sending out into the world; conscious connection not just with the sound and quality of the breath but with the breath as prayer was a valuable way to experience it. Similarly, I appreciated her emphasis on yoga as a way to generate a free flow of energy in the body and, consequently, in life.

I stayed for some of the chanting before heading home, and I felt both energized and relaxed. My body felt "lit up" and charged, as if every cell had been bathed in light. I felt balanced, physically and emotionally. I felt that expansion in the chest that accompanies feelings of love, peace, and goodwill. This morning, those qualities are still with me, as is the lovely sensation of muscles that have been used in unaccustomed ways.

I'm glad I was able to move outside of several of my boxes, and I'm grateful to Wah! and Adishakti Yoga Kula (and of course my dear L.) for the opportunity.

Choose the Good Ones

Meditation teaches us to control the mind, rather than letting it control us. I have heard people who feared meditation, thinking that it was simply an effort to empty the mind, as if then it would be ripe soil for the implantation of any idea. This is not the case; in fact, when we have learned how to control our thoughts, we have a much better capacity to choose which thoughts serve us, which thoughts don't. We are better able to evaluate what we think, rather than believing all of the thoughts that continually bombard our minds.

There is a great deal of relief that can come from recognizing we do not need to keep every thought we have, that we can change our thoughts and thereby change our sentiments. Consider, for example, the difference between thinking "I have to do this work" versus "I get to do this work." Talk about lightening a load so many bear!

What thoughts are you having that don't serve you well, that drain your energy or depress you? And how can these be changed so that your load is lightened, your mind is eased? As one motto I've heard states, "Thoughts become things, so choose the good ones.

Giving Permission

How good it feels to give ourselves permission...to do something out of the ordinary, to deviate from the routine, to sleep in, to take a break, to slow down.

You may notice that I'm posting this entry around lunchtime today, rather than between 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning, as I usually do. Instead of stressing about all I wanted to do before heading to a 6AM yoga class, I let myself be. I went to yoga, knowing what a benefit it is for me to start my day with movement and meditation. I wasn't sure I would have time to blog at all today, even though I've made a commitment to five days per week of writing here. But, lo and behold, V. is napping, I've responded to my students' writing assignments online, and here I still have a few minutes to write.

My experience today of going with the flow, of allowing myself to step back, of taking time for relaxation and renewal is an apt lesson for me (and perhaps for many of us). "So much to do, so little time" doesn't need to be our mantra. In fact, when we slow down, let go, and flow with what life presents to us, we often have more than enough time to do that which is important to us.

Equally beneficial is adopting this attitude with other people as well; being less onerous with others as well as ourselves allows fresh energy, joy, and ease to enter our lives. Yes, we'll likely be more productive, but more importantly, we'll all be more happy and relaxed. And, given the statistic I learned today, that 70 to 90% of visits to the doctor's office are stress related, it sounds like most of us ought to be much easier on ourselves. Start giving yourself permission.

Unconditional

I was thinking about unconditional love this morning, feeling how much I love V., and then I read this post on the Natural Parenting Center blog. These thoughts couldn't come on a better morning, as I have had almost no sleep, having nursed V. for what felt like most of the night. When I wasn't nursing her, I was trying to find space in bed next to her, as she tossed and turned, taking up more space than one would imagine a little body could occupy. (I do love how she sleeps, though, arms and legs wide, owning her own space freely.)

Even though I am a person who has always needed many hours of sleep and who has been known to be highly irritable when I don't get it, I did everything I could to give V. what she needed. Of course, I know that I can't sacrifice my own health, that I need to be well in order to best care for her, but what I was able to give her last night wasn't that kind of a sacrifice. What I did sacrifice was well worth the comfort and sense of security she received. Most of the time, I think of any sacrifice I might be making as an investment in her, and her well-being is worth more than I can say.

I'm not advocating that we give to the point of depletion, but I do think the act of prioritizing others' well-being is an important one. If we can bring simply a minute amount of the unconditional love we try to give our children to our interactions with others, how different might our relationships and our perceptions be? How different might our world be? Wouldn't this be worth the effort as well?

"Expect Nothing"

"Expect Nothing"

by Alice Walker

Expect nothing. Live frugally

On surprise.

become a stranger

To need of pity

Or, if compassion be be freely

Given out

Take only enough

Stop short of urge to plead

Then purge away the need.

Wish for nothing larger

Than your own small heart

Or greater than a star;

Tame wild disappointment

With caress unmoved and cold

Make of it a parka

For your soul.

Discover the reason why

So tiny human midget

Exists at all

So scared unwise

But expect nothing. Live frugally

On surprise.

So What?

Discipline can be a useful attribute. We try to teach it to children. We highlight it in job interviews. We recognize its value in fulfilling our dreams. Self-discipline has been an easy fixture in my life for as long as I can remember; I was an only child, a "good" child, and determined to reach my goals. I was also and have remained something of a perfectionist, which is not such an easy trait to have.

Lately, when my car is messier than I would like it, the desk where I write this is cluttered with mail, and the floor needs vacuuming, I've been questioning the line between discipline and perfectionism and wondering if I can be more accepting of less. By that I mean I wonder if I can finally allow myself the clutter, the mess, the dishes in the sink overnight if it means more time for the BIG things, the things that really matter.

Since synchronicity is there when I look for it, yesterday I noticed one of the blogs I love to read, through Natural Parenting Center, posted the perfect reply for my query: who's in charge here? Kris's message was perfect: ask yourself, So what?

The dishes weren't done last night. So what?

I haven't opened my mail in days. So what?

My car is messy (because I'm usually ferrying the baby and have no extra hands for that travel mug). So what?

Kris is right; this game becomes fun, mainly because it is so liberating. Of course I will likely do the dishes when I wake up in the morning; I will eventually open my mail; I will clean my car before ants invade. All of these honestly minor details will be handled in due time. In the meantime, I've relaxed with L. and V. after dinner. I've typed an email to a student rather than opened the mail. I've carried and hugged my baby without juggling trash. I've breathed more easily. I've let my shoulders drop away from my ears. I've remembered what matters.

Try it today; ask yourself, So what? And allow yourself the lightness that comes as an answer.