So What?

Discipline can be a useful attribute. We try to teach it to children. We highlight it in job interviews. We recognize its value in fulfilling our dreams. Self-discipline has been an easy fixture in my life for as long as I can remember; I was an only child, a "good" child, and determined to reach my goals. I was also and have remained something of a perfectionist, which is not such an easy trait to have.

Lately, when my car is messier than I would like it, the desk where I write this is cluttered with mail, and the floor needs vacuuming, I've been questioning the line between discipline and perfectionism and wondering if I can be more accepting of less. By that I mean I wonder if I can finally allow myself the clutter, the mess, the dishes in the sink overnight if it means more time for the BIG things, the things that really matter.

Since synchronicity is there when I look for it, yesterday I noticed one of the blogs I love to read, through Natural Parenting Center, posted the perfect reply for my query: who's in charge here? Kris's message was perfect: ask yourself, So what?

The dishes weren't done last night. So what?

I haven't opened my mail in days. So what?

My car is messy (because I'm usually ferrying the baby and have no extra hands for that travel mug). So what?

Kris is right; this game becomes fun, mainly because it is so liberating. Of course I will likely do the dishes when I wake up in the morning; I will eventually open my mail; I will clean my car before ants invade. All of these honestly minor details will be handled in due time. In the meantime, I've relaxed with L. and V. after dinner. I've typed an email to a student rather than opened the mail. I've carried and hugged my baby without juggling trash. I've breathed more easily. I've let my shoulders drop away from my ears. I've remembered what matters.

Try it today; ask yourself, So what? And allow yourself the lightness that comes as an answer.