Babies are amazing teachers. We've been watching V. learning how to walk. I see her holding onto the couch, letting it go as she turns around, taking a step, then reaching down as she squats to lower herself to her hands and knees again; bit by bit, she's gaining confidence and recognizing how to balance herself. She moves through a natural fear of falling, lets go of the couch, moves forward, grows.
With her as my guide, I've entered this new year with an unconscious intention to release fear. This wasn't a formalized intention, written in the journal L. and I keep for our list of "resolutions," but since the year began I've found myself doing things I had been timid about doing before. I've let go of compulsions driven by fear, and I've been stepping out of my comfort zone. This letting go has allowed me a new confidence in other areas as well. On my yoga mat, for example, I've been bolder as I work on my headstand, a pose that has intimidated me for years.
I've been doing headstands, but I've been doing them with my back touching a wall, and my legs have been bowed away from the wall like a banana. Even though I knew the wall was behind me, I have feared falling over and have worried that such a fall would hurt my back. Lately, though, I've moved a few more inches away from the wall and don't feel the need to touch it before I begin to enter headstand. I've felt a new tightening in my core as I move my heels over my hips, rather than letting my feet stay in front of them. I feel more balanced between my elbows and hands, more stable overall, and I'm holding the pose for a few more breaths; bit by bit, I'm gaining confidence, recognizing balance, moving past fear, growing...thanks to my little guru-V.
No comments:
Post a Comment