Letting Go

Some people say that when you don't know what to do in a situation, you should do nothing. I like to tweek this a little bit: when I don't know what to do, I should pray and then wait for an answer. That answer can come in the form of a "sign," or my intuition, or some other way, but for me the answers are rarely clear when I obsess, worry, and dwell on the problem. Since I am prone to over-analysis, I often think through all the scenarios and never conclude on the best option because all options have benefits and drawbacks. I make a decision, then I change my mind and decide the opposite; then, considering anew some minutiae, I make the first decision again. My attempts at "control" are both exhausting and self-defeating.

So, I will pray, as I always do, but this time I will let go after the prayer. I will try not to dwell on the problem of what to do about our house, our neighborhood, our finances. Wasn't I just writing about gratitude and faith? Yes. That's right. My prayer, then, will sound something like: "Thank you for the roof over our heads; please show us what to do about the rest of the house!" Now, the letting go--of anxiety, overthinking, expectation--with each and every breath.